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"The world is going to hell and I'm driving the bus"
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If you're gonna bitch about how
much you hate me for being an
Atheist/not liking Avril,
just ask yourself:
"what would Jesus do?"
and stop existing. xD
Best Anti-Avril Site Ever:
blow-up dolls (aka Jessica/Ashley Simpson, Sh*tney, Xtina, Timberpuss, Avril, et al) should suffer a slow and painful death.
I am not gay :P i get asked that a lot coz i'm a strong supporter
of gay rights. People wouldn't mind my skin color if i was supporting black people rights.
I'm sick of people that say just because I don't live in America I can't have an opinion about what's going on. Sure, you can go to war with
a third world country ONLY because you don't like their president, you can suggest you should bomb MY city and MY country because
there are drug dealers selling the drugs YOU buy, but oh no heaven forbid I say Bush is a fuck1ng pr1ck and I don't agree with war.
Well you know what? I don't give I damn! I am not a terrorist, I could live in the South Pole and I still have the right to say that freedom
of speech is the biggest self-patronizing lie ever invented.
Ok, that's my rant :P for now mwahahaha
If you wanna know anything else, just ask ;)
Dear Officials of the United States Government,
I thought I would just get in touch and let you know what is going on in my reproductive system and general private area lately. You seem really interested, and I wouldn't want to put you to the trouble of subpoenaing my medical records just to find out what's happening in my uterus.
It's summer, so I'm getting my bikini line waxed more frequently. (Ouch!) I had a little urinary-tract infection a while ago, but that seems to have cleared up. Cranberry juice is really something, especially when you're uninsured and can't see the doctor to check out every little searing, stabbing pain. And did you know that yogurt cures yeast infections? If only it cured AIDS, we could patent it and then withhold it from Third World nations.
My last period started on the 8th and ended on the 13th. I think right now I'm ovulating. You know those little midcycle twinges you can get around ovulation? I felt one yesterday. President Bush, Attorney General Ashcroft, I am very pleased to be writing to you at my monthly pinnacle of fertility. The lining of my uterus is thickening, and a mature ovum expectantly awaits fertilization in my fallopian tube. It is a very beautiful time, and this month it is concurrent with the new moon. As the moon waxes, it will gently pull the tide of my menses from me, culminating in my next menstrual period, which I expect to begin on the 6th of next month.
I know it might be hard to believe, but some guys think a woman's natural cycles and secretions are "yucky." Some guys are too squeamish to pick up a box of tampons at the drugstore if you ask them to. The first lady is lucky to have a partner like you, Mr. President, a person who wishes to be intimately involved not only in his wife's reproductive system, but in those of all the other women in America as well.
This is why if I ever get accidentally pregnant, you guys will be the first people I call. We'll all figure it out together, just me, my government, and that man in the polo shirt who hangs out outside my gynecologist's office holding the sign with the fake bloody fetus on it.
May God continue to bless America, and my uterus.
Many letters have been sent to the Valley News concerning the homosexual menace in Vermont. I am the mother of a gay son and I’ve taken enough from you good people. I’m tired of your foolish rhetoric about the “homosexual agenda” and your allegations that accepting homosexuality is the same thing as advocating sex with children. You are cruel and ignorant. You have been robbing me of the joys of motherhood ever since my children were tiny.
My firstborn son started suffering at the hands of the moral little thugs from your moral, upright families from the time he was in the first grade. He was physically and verbally abused from first grade straight through high school because he was perceived to be gay.
He never professed to be gay or had any association with anything gay, but he had the misfortune not to walk or have gestures like the other boys. He was called “fag” incessantly, starting when he was 6.
In high school, while your children were doing what kids that age should be doing, mine labored over a suicide note, drafting and redrafting it to be sure his family knew how much he loved them. My sobbing 17-year-old tore the heart out of me as he choked out that he just couldn’t bear to continue living any longer, that he didn’t want to be gay and that he couldn’t face a life without dignity.
You have the audacity to talk about protecting families and children from the homosexual menace, while you yourselves tear apart families and drive children to despair. I don’t know why my son is gay, but I do know that God didn’t put him, and millions like him, on this Earth to give you someone to abuse. God gave you brains so that you could think, and it’s about time you started doing that.
At the core of all your misguided beliefs is the belief that this could never happen to you, that there is some kind of subculture out there that people have chosen to join. The fact is that if it can happen to my family, it can happen to yours, and you won’t get to choose. Whether it is genetic or whether something occurs during a critical time of fetal development, I don’t know. I can only tell you with an absolute certainty that it is inborn.
If you want to tout your own morality, you’d best come up with something more substantive than your heterosexuality. You did nothing to earn it; it was given to you. If you disagree, I would be interested in hearing your story, because my own heterosexuality was a blessing I received with no effort whatsoever on my part. It is so woven into the very soul of me that nothing could ever change it. For those of you who reduce sexual orientation to a simple choice, a character issue, a bad habit or something that can be changed by a 10-step program, I’m puzzled. Are you saying that your own sexual orientation is nothing more than something you have chosen, that you could change it at will? If that’s not the case, then why would you suggest that someone else can?
A popular theme in your letters is that Vermont has been infiltrated by outsiders. Both sides of my family have lived in Vermont for generations. I am heart and soul a Vermonter, so I’ll thank you to stop saying that you are speaking for “true Vermonters.”
You invoke the memory of the brave people who have fought on the battlefield for this great country, saying that they didn’t give their lives so that the “homosexual agenda” could tear down the principles they died defending. My 83-year-old father fought in some of the most horrific battles of World War II, was wounded and awarded the Purple Heart.
He shakes his head in sadness at the life his grandson has had to live. He says he fought alongside homosexuals in those battles, that they did their part and bothered no one. One of his best friends in the service was gay, and he never knew it until the end, and when he did find out, it mattered not at all. That wasn’t the measure of the man.
You religious folk just can’t bear the thought that as my son emerges from the hell that was his childhood he might like to find a lifelong companion and have a measure of happiness. It offends your sensibilities that he should request the right to visit that companion in the hospital, to make medical decisions for him or to benefit from tax laws governing inheritance.
How dare he? you say. These outrageous requests would threaten the very existence of your family, would undermine the sanctity of marriage. You use religion to abdicate your responsibility to be thinking human beings. There are vast numbers of religious people who find your attitudes repugnant. God is not for the privileged majority, and God knows my son has committed no sin.
The deep-thinking author of a letter to the April 12 ‘05 Valley News who lectures about homosexual sin and tells us about “those of us who have been blessed with the benefits of a religious upbringing” asks: “What ever happened to the idea of striving . . . to be better human beings than we are?”
Indeed, sir, what ever happened to that?
GAYS NOT WORTHY OF MARRIAGE? http://www.zmag.org/content/showarticle.cfm?ItemID=6222
"Here are some of the things that straight-sex marriage has wrought through the ages: polygamy, child-brides, loveless arrangements, trafficked women, bartered wives, battered wives, raped wives, sexual slavery, child abuse and abandonment, racist miscegenation laws, and astronomical divorce rates. If gays are unqualified for marriage, what can we say about straights? If George Bush and his homophobic worshippers really want to defend the institution of marriage, they can begin by taking an honest look at the ugly situations within so many heterosexual unions throughout the world"
I'm gunna still talk to you, like you're here... XD wow as i type that out i can't help noticing how lame
it sounds haha.
No one seems to find this quite as amusing and... relevant as i think it is. Go figure, XD