Hey they call me Kayla.My friends also call me BATMAN. On a serious note, I'm living my life as an unique, bold, mature, dorky, fun, and random teenager. I'm a single mother as well, raising a four month old baby girl. Her name is Hannah Marie. I think I've finally realized what and who I want in my life. When I grow up, I'd like to be a Journalist. I love to write, it's one of my passions. Photograhpy is another passions of mine. Yeah, call me a camera whore I guess. I'm a kid at heart. Dancing is what I do.In the hallways,streets,on the bus,or at the mall. Making people laugh is what I like to do. I have a big heart, and if i say i care about you, I truly do. I don't follow the "incrowd" I do my own steps. Drama is NOT my GAME, so please SAVE IT. I'm guessing you can call me a bookworm. I take chances because life is too SHORT. Whatever my mind is set on I will do it. Don't make a promise to me unless you can keep it. I forgive but don't forget. That's pretty much it.
Daddy,
It's been awhile since I've written, so I have much to tell you. I want to start off with how sorry I am. I don't think I've grown up to be the young lady you would have wanted me to be, so I think I should apologize.I'm sorry that I've taken a drink of alcohol before I'm 21.I'm sorry that I gotten pregnant before I reached my goals. I'm sorry daddy, that I don't always treat mommy the way she deserves. I'm sorry that I backtalk, and raise my voice to her when she's only trying to do what's best for me. I'm sorry that I haven't chosen the best people to surround myself with. I'm sorry I've let myself get lazy, with my grades, my hobbies, and just life in general.I can't even drive yet. I'm just real sorry, daddy.
But there are many aspects of my life that I think you would be proud of if you were here, too. I got a job. I found myself a boy who treats me pretty well, daddy. I think you'd really like him, and I wish you could meet him. I'm starting to get out more often, and even though I don't know who all of my true friends are just yet, I haven't let that stop me from making new ones. I've never done drugs or smoked a cigarette, dad; you can thank Dustin for giving me that mindset. And remember how Dustin and I used to fight all the time when we were younger? Well things aren't like that anymore, daddy. He's my best friend now, and I bet you'd be really happy to see that we get along so well. I think I want to be a journalist when I get older, and maybe I can write amazing stories, like you daddy. I'm starting to set real goals for myself, and I'm going to continue trying my hardest.
It may seem like I'm getting along okay without you daddy, but it sure is hell without you down here, and I miss you so much. I wish you could still be here to tell me right from wrong. I wish you could have been here to clean off my bloody, scraped knees when I fell off my bike and to help mend my broken heart when I thought I was in love. I wish you could have been here to see me blow out the candles on my birthday cake, and to yell at me when I snuck a bit of junkfood before dinner. There sure are a lot of memories I'll never get to have now that you're gone, daddy, but I don't hold it against you. I never have. I know that eventually I will have to find my own way.
I wish someone would have thought to warn me about how much it would hurt to grow up without a daddy. They never explained how hard it was going to be to live life with half of your heart missing. They didn't prepare me for this, dad. I keep moving forward, but it's really hard not to look back sometimes.
I talked to a very wise man today, and he told me that no matter what anyone says, in this world we are ultimately alone. The only person who will be there for you from your first breath until your last is yourself. He told me that I can't save the world, daddy. So, I think it's about time that I stop trying. I think it's time that I put myself first for once, instead of worrying about everyone else for a change. It's been really hard without you to guide me, daddy, but don't you think for one second that I've given up.
And daddy, please don't forget to save a spot for me right next to you in heaven.
I'll be seeing you soon, dad. I love you
Love always,
your monkey
In loving memory of Landon Smith
me
Hannah Marie
Born:July 9,2009 @ 9:17a.m.
I've been pretty busy with my daily life.Working,school, and taking care of Hannah Marie.Please forgive me.I'll try and come on as much as I can.
ILY ILY ILY!
and btw we chatted again haha for 3 hours straight last last night :D
i knew more about him..
that i was mistaken that he's a filipino-american...
i found out he's a filipino-french..
hahaha
i would not have done it w/out you.
seriously..
at first i thought that we'll just be looking at each other and that's it..
now i took one step closer to kevin
OOooohh really. I wonder when It will come out in the UK then! Personally I'm counting on Tim Burtons Alice in Wonderland. I love Burton's work, I'm a major fan so it's going to be like another birthday when his film comes out!Anyway I haven't been upto much, revising for future exams and chatting to people around school, I never really connect with people round here much but I met someone called Meghan yesterday and she likes all the same shows as me so that's good. I was off school a while ago with temporary depression so I don't know a lot of people too well and I never really got on with a lot of people anyway, my school is to chavvy and bitchy. Anyway how's life for you? <3 xxx
