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livy101 writes:

Edward Cullen can *dazzle* you with his eyes closed.

Edward Cullen will cut your brakes, because he loves you.

There's only one man Chuck Norris was ever afraid of, and that's Edward *beep* Cullen.

Weapons of mass destruction weren't found in Iraq, they were found in Edward Cullen's pants.

Edward Cullen caused global warming.

Edward Cullen forgot Sarah Marshall.

If you have five dollars and Edward Cullen has five dollars, Robert Pattinson has more money than you.

When Edward Cullen falls in water, Edward Cullen doesn't get wet. Water gets Edward Cullen.

4 minutes to save the world? Edward Cullen only needs a second.

Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Edward Cullen pajamas.

Edward Cullen is the 9th Wonder of the World, he just doesn't like to tell people.

Edward Cullen can believe it's not butter.

The cloverfield monster is Edward Cullen's dog

Edward Cullen destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of ~dazzle~.

Edward Cullen can lick his elbow

Edward Cullen knows what Willis is talking about

Edward Cullen found Nemo.

Edward Cullen put those *beep* snakes on that *beep* plane.

Edward Cullen is THE Batman.

Nobody puts Edward Cullen in a corner.

Edward Cullen can put Baby in a corner.

Einstein's original Theory of Relativity was; if Edward Cullen ~dazzles~ you, your relatives will feel it.

The easiest way to determine Edward Cullen's age is to cut him in half and count the rings.

An apple a day keeps Edward Cullen away.

Edward Cullen let the dogs out.

Edward Cullen counts his chickens before they hatch.

Edward Cullen does not follow fashion trends, they follow him. But then he turns around and kicks their ass. Nobody follows Robert Pattinson.

Put Edward Cullen in your pipe and smoke it.

Edward Cullen isn't just Pretty in Pink, he is Mindblowing in Pink.

Edward Cullen can walk on water.

Edward Cullenshot the sheriff.

Edward Cullen can out-Vogue Madonna.

Edward Cullen got a perfect score on his SAT's, simply by writing Robert Pattinson for every answer.

Lightning never strikes twice in one place because Edward Cullen is looking for it.

Edward Cullen asked for a love song. Sara Bareilles wrote it.

Carly Simon wrote 'You're So Vain' about Edward Cullen.

Edward Cullen can divide by zero.

Edward Cullen can lead a horse to water and make him drink.

Edward Cullen knows what a "ziga-zig-ahh" is.

If Edward Cullen bought Livejournal, it would become IKickYourAssJournal.

Edward Cullen can dazzle the sun.

The real 'ladiesman217' is Edward Cullen.
He doesn't know where the glasses are either.

Edward Cullen has two Fendi purses, and a silver Lexus.

Edward Cullen created TwilightMoms just to figure out how many possible women he can impregnate.