lonely, desperate, miserable: 3 words to describe me.(online status not displayed)
NBSB (no boyfriend since birth)
and still, doesn't want to have a bf. needs to finish studies first! :D i'm not like my other friends, who have alot of boyfriends. that's why I don't talk to them anymore. I stay away from them, they are BAD - INFLUENCE! instead .. I found some friends who are not really popular, some average people whom I can trust! unlike the other Flirts before. err! but I don't really like making friends, or having alot of friends for fame. (I'm not one of them) coz, people will just talk behind your back.. see, I don't want more friends. 5 friends or 6 is enough. one of my "popular" friends told me: " hey, why don't u like to join us?! we're talking about guys! hey did u know the new guy in school? omfg he's freakin hot! " SEE, FUCK THEM! LIKE I CARE? IM NOT LIKE HER!! But I'm a really girly girl, who loves pink so much. I act so feminine, and gentle. I love dancing so much! that's what makes me happy. but when we danced in our school program in the stage, a friend of mine told me that ***** said that I'm a flirt! WTF! I AM NOT A FLIRT! I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! I DON'T EVEN WANT TO GET TOO CLOSE WITH PEOPLE WITH THE OPPOSITE GENDER! that's why, I started crying and crying. and after that day, I gave up my dancing career! i moved on, but still.. crying. and then, I stopped acting so girly and moving so feminine. I am not so obsessed w/ pink anymore.. I don't love going out and hanging with my other friends anymore, (only if it's really important or a VERY SPECIAL occasion only!) and I also learned to listen to rock music, I started to love the color black, I'm not afraid of being alone anymore. I hate noise. I'm not hyper and loud anymore! I guess my friends are starting to wonder why.. but I won't tell em' why.. I WON'T ... even with my 6 closest friends.. I WON'T. coz I don't open up to anyone. Since I was a child, I don't open up or share something when I'm in pain. I'd rather keep it myself, than to share it.. and no one even knows that i'm not obsessed w/ pink anymore, no one even knows that I cry everynight!! (yeah, so true) :(( and my friends always see me cry at school .. but I dont tell them why. even though they keep on asking.. I wont tell em' why. I WON'T! and I'm also a negative thinker (since I was born) and currently.. I'm studying on my hatest school in the philippines. my mother wants me to study here.. I HATE THE PEOPLE HERE. you know why? .. I'll describe them: FLIRT, BACKSTABBER, PLASTIC, RUDE. that's them. see, I'd LOVE TO BE ALONE, than to make friends with those horrible people.. OH, HOW I JUST WISH, THAT THERE'S SOMEONE IN THIS WORLD WHO CAN BECOME MY BESTFRIEND, NOT PLASTIC, NOT A BACKSTABBER, WHO WILL NEVER LIE TO ME.. EVER!
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